okay pat passed out under dana's car
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
handjob tips. give me some.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
