He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
