I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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