Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't turn off my feet"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
