My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
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I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
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Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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