Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
