I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
