I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
