I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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