btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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