Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drunk is not a location!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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