Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
