you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
