totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize