I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
