lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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