He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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