What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
