Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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