WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
