Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
