Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
