she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My bed smells like the plague
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
