Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
