Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
