we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
And then he peed in my hair
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