That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
