She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
