Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
