when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
