Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize