"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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