I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
