Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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