it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
