Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
