your room smells of hookers.
And success
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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