If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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