dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
