I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We need a shit load of segways right now
did you just send me my own nude
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize