What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
