There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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