Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I intend to get homeless drunk
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
