Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
