I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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