Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
