i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
