Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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