She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
