god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
