I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
