so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
