I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
