Nicole vs. Life
wakey wakey hands off snakey
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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