Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
