literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
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Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
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I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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