I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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