Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
