let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
