I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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