I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
