problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
