so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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