My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize