she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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