I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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