I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
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Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize